Call a Thief a Thief: The Hypocrisy of Fancy Grammar in Our Political Tragedy

 By David Alani Ige, (The Scribe)

  

In our society today, the speed at which justice is served depends entirely on the size of the criminal's bank account. We have created two distinct universes of morality: one for the poor, and one for the political elite. And the bridge between these two universes is built entirely on the hypocrisy of fancy grammar.

Let us be brutally honest. If a hungry man steals a tuber of yam in Bodija Market, or snatches a mobile phone out of desperation, the society instantly labels him a 'thief'. He is stripped naked, beaten blue-black by a mob, and if he survives, he is thrown into a congested prison cell to rot for years. We do not look for polite words to describe his crime. 

But when a man in an agbada or a customized suit sits in an air-conditioned office and steals five billion naira meant for primary healthcare, rural roads, or security, we suddenly lose our ability to speak plain English. 

The Dictionary of Deceit

When the political elite steal, we refuse to call them thieves. Instead, the media and the political class invent sanitized, corporate vocabulary to cushion the blow of their wickedness. 

 We say the funds were "misappropriated."

We say the budget was "padded."

We say the money was "diverted."

We call it "embezzlement" or "money laundering."

What is "misappropriation"? It is a cowardly word used to hide the violence of corruption. 

When a politician steals the money meant to equip a local hospital, and a pregnant woman dies because there was no oxygen cylinder or electricity in that ward, that politician has not "misappropriated" funds. He is an armed robber without a gun. He is a murderer.By sanitizing the language, we have sanitized the crime. We have made political robbery look like an administrative error rather than an act of sheer, unadulterated evil. We need to call a thief a thief.

The Complicity of the Masses and the Clergy

Here is the bitter truth that most people will refuse to swallow: The political thief does not act in a vacuum. He is enabled, celebrated, and protected by the very society he is robbing.

This is where our national hypocrisy peaks. When the political thief returns home with the stolen commonwealth, what do we do? 

1. The Traditional Institutions: We do not banish him; we give him a Chieftaincy title. We call him the 'Atunluse'(The Repairer of the Town) of a town he just financially destroyed.

2. The Religious Institutions: When he walks into the church or the mosque, the service is paused. He is given the front-row seat. The pastor invites him to the altar for a special thanksgiving, and the Imam offers special prayers for his "continuous elevation," knowing fully well that his donation is the blood money of the masses.

3. The Citizens: We line the streets to sing his praises for distributing cups of rice and branded matches—items bought with a fraction of the money he stole from our children’s future.

Who then is worse? The thief who steals the money, or the society that worships him for it? 

The Verdict

We cannot pray our way out of a problem we are too cowardly to confront. If we truly want to rebuild our state and our nation, the revolution must begin with the truth. We must strip away the titles, the grammar, and the sycophancy.

A man who steals public funds is not a "strategist." He is not a "smart politician." He is a common thief. And until we start treating political thieves with the same societal disgust and outrage that we reserve for the petty pickpocket in the market, our development will remain a mirage. 

It is time to call a spade a spade. And more importantly, it is time to call a thief a thief!

David Alani Ige (The Scribe) is the Publisher and Editor-in-Chief of Ayekooto Media. He writes from Oyo State, Nigeria. 

Ayekooto n kigbe, ẹni tó bá fe, kó gbọ́. (The bird of truth has spoken; let those who wish hear). 

For reactions, debates, and news tips, reach The Scribe at: publisher@ayekootomediang.com